World of fantasy

Yet another sleepless night thinking about life ,feeling lonely and left out,  brain playing with emotions heart beating like drums . What had I done so far unaware of the things around want to run but where want to cry but got no reason want to talk was lost the words is it me controlling my emotions or emotions controlling me ,no answers were found no reply was given.  An empty place and a sorrowful life, a wish yet to be granted. A gift yet to be unwrapped, a time stopping at an unknown number yet to be found  , a breeze yet to be blown ,a sea yet to be flown a, three yet to be grown . Where is the darkness I wanted, where is the stars hiding where is the moon looking,  why do we cry , why do we laugh, why is there a pain , why do we feel lonely why does people say goodbye... everything is yet to be answered ,

Sitting under the lonely night looking at the stars ,talking to the moon, smiling with the wind. Feels like everything was real yet so fake while hiding my pain, my tears where the eco of my heart beat varnishes,  what have I done, what am I doing is this even worth, I asked myself many time yet no response were made , the same stars every night ,but the moon changes its shape and size and its colours what a lonely night

Today I felt my my heart was aching and felt lost at the same time, did I lost something or someone this feeling can't let go, felt like crying but no tears fell from my eyes like it needed a reason to cry for as the desert needed the rain. The loneliness I felt was worse than being ignored why is so bad to let go of something. Was it just me , the heart beat was pounding like I ran a thousand miles. I searched for you everywhere but no traces were found we'll we ever meet stranger not in this life but another , those eyes,  long hair stunning smiles blissful laughter  , the description looks like a I will stay forever alone but yet a guy like that is he even real or just a part of my imagination.