World of fantasy

Rain tree oh rain tree I tell you the story of sorrow and love of thee. drunk under the rain tree crying and waiting with the wine, she lay. What have gone wrong I know of nothing yet the pain is so strong. She wants to cry but her tears got dry sipping away her pain and sadness. She no longer believe in love or be sober to pounder in the past just enough to know that nothing is better then having made an empty vow. She fills her cup over flowing of not wine but a cure to her sane. She wishes nothing but to be free and be carried away by wind. As she fills her cup again she cheers to the tree and drinks it to make her pain dissapear with it. She no longer needs the worlds or the what others think of her. rain tree oh rain tree what can I do without thee.

Waiting under the tree of rain, feeling empty and blue. The ocean is vast my yearning for you is more then stars in the sky. No one can replace your smile, your ways of enjoying a sun and moon bath. I drink my pain if waiting in a cup of wine to forget about the past yet here they are flowing like wind. Each petal falls and dances with the song of rain tree as I lay on top of it's tall and hard body. They say once the rain tree feels a humans sad presence it sings a song that only the ears of nature and the person hears upon a drunk night. A drunken person vows to the rain tree to take away it's pain and in return they shall give their treasure little did they know that tears are more precious then any treasure the rain tree needs as it falls on land and devours it. Rain tree oh rain tree if you only knew the pain of the one that is gone and a wine jar of emptiness.

Another new year and here I'm looking outside the balcony, my window near the bed or outside the door. Stars appeared like before, I still search for the one in my dream yet it's ongoing and tiring but I still try. Thinking myself every day. Asking myself I might find him but not a single clue on how much I have found, just some scattered pieces of my dreams that's been long fragmented and half lost what I left is bits of it in my imagination. Looking around or down the balcony seeing smiling faces makes my heart warm but it's still feels empty. Where or who should I watch the fireworks with. Music is all I have imagination is all I can think of and be whatever I feel like to be in my Dreamland. Don't remember the face nor the height just some details insights. Is he real or not wheather he's just my imagination or not I'll still look for you. Should I end my search or go on, everything has it's limits so do I yet I'm still confused if I'm tired ...

Another day has passed while waiting for you to come. Million of faces passed by none were you. Thousands of smiles came but the one I was searching for wasn't there. Many places I've been none had your resemblance. At the end I felt tired and helpless eyes got watery, throat got dry hands got cold, and legs don't even ask. But what I know is even after everything I've done to look for you all I left is the feeling of wind that gave me courage to look back even with a slight chance of seeing you. It's the wind that made me realize that your somewhere near and for I won't stop until I find you.

It's ok to walk and look back and smile, it's ok to stop somewhere to feel the breeze for a short while. It's ok to be not be normal sometimes. Even seasons change and a new day comes. Leaves die and a new sprouts grow. Snows melt into water and evaporates,and turns into rain,and hail. It's ok to cry sometimes without no reason. It's ok to let something you love go. It's ok just be yourself no one will judge. It's ok to not fit with others in a group. It's ok to not be as perfect as everyone. It's ok to let it lose sometimes. It's ok to shout in an open space. It's ok to do what you want. It's ok to have mixed emotions. It's ok to make mistakes. It's ok to get hurt. It's ok to be heartbroken. It's ok to be single. It's ok to envy people. It's ok to feel lonely in crowds. it's ok... it's really ok.

Have you ever seen a shooting star and made a wish, I saw stars shinning but never falling, they say whatever you wish from that shooting star it will come true. I once wished upon a star that never fell to pick it up and erase my scar but it's too far to reach it. One world many stars and thousands of fate. The stars light up and glow like light bulb, some take upon a shape. If one day I see a star what can I wish for there are many things a person who want in life they can't wish for everything from a single shooting star. But they still make a wish, if I had to wish I don't know what my wish would be.many people believe in superstitious believes I do too what I believe is eclipse and a shooting star together wouldn't it be amazing to wish upon that. Stars are everywhere they only glow in the night time like sprinklers on a cake. They are stars after all.

 when will this end, I'm trying everything I could but it's not enough. I'm trying not to complain but I end somehow confessing. I'm following people understanding their way of life and adding in mine but I don't think it's enough to discribe me. Things git set up for me and was labeled as privilege when I didn't even ask about it. I tried to be a person to be looked upon but somehow it never happened. I tried my best by not showing how vulnerable I'm inside but it overflows with tears at night. I tell myself I can do it more then hundred times yet I get scared.is it so hard to understand the feeling of yourself. Every decision I make feels wrong every path feels like it's full of Thorns. All I wanted was someone to understand me is it so hard to do that. I try to open myself up to talk but I'm scared of the outcome I get. Why am I like this, what led me to be this, for how long am I going to be like this. I smile, I laugh, like everyone else. I ...